Whilst having a chat with my daughter before bed, she said "I have a secret and I can't tell you. Oh I said all curious "Is it a good one?" She said "No mummy, it's a bad one and you would be angry."
So in a few split moments, I gathered my thoughts, quickly thinking about how to go about keeping her trust yet knowing if it's bad I will have to react! Agh - this is what I call parenting on the spot. Help, where is the manual, children are supposed to come with?
I will spare you (and her) the details of the what the secret was. But in short she was torn between two groups of peers. One group was the girls who she was desperate to be in with. The other group were the ones she really enjoyed and were probably more accepting of her. One side was expecting her to behave a certain way and the other side she wanted to keep close. She had understood that maybe her expected behaviour would hurt the other side, but maybe this was worth it? She was torn.
After a few moments of chatting, she sighed and looked at me.
"Mummy" she said " This is complicated! ".
How accurate was that of a description of any of our relationships. Even or maybe especially as adults.
However as I reflect, here are my two thoughts. Are complex relationships worth the investment? Is complication always part of something that is meaningful?"
And now I am confused........thoughts anyone?
BBB
ReplyDeleteI don't think it is about complication... I think it is about energy. People give you energy or they take it from you ....Sometimes it's like a yo-yo... Give-take-give-take... It's when the taking seriously starts to outweigh the giving that a good "stock-taking" is necessary... And I suggest a very good broom sweep on an annual basis...
Not sure how to translate that to a 9 year old. Isn't it ll just about cake at that age?
Yours in high energy
Baked bean